a fairytale were a young girl is kidnapped and forced to marry a demon king and instead of being like no! never! shes like fine as long as i get to help you destroy and hes like lol cool but soon shes doing a bit too much and her husband king is like okay enough power and shes like bye see you in the dungeon and hes like what and hes dragged away cause now everyone is more loyal to her and she reigns over the underworld and the surface world with a cold iron fist
my dream is to create a brand of pads and tampons called “THERE WILL BE BLOOD” that’s non gender specific and is all black and red and the ads are just death metal and like everyone who menstruates just mudwrestling in blood and and punching republicans and everyone is all different races and sizes and ages some people have body hair and some people don’t and it just ends with the words “BECAUSE YOU’RE A BAD ASS MOTHERFUCKER”
The author of my math book just decides to throw in pictures of his cats every so often through the chapters…
also, i really want there to be more vampires and so on who, instead of speaking in a charming, cultured, but vaguely old-fashioned way because they are a 275-year-old consciousness in an undead, unaging 19-year-old body, talk in embarrassingly misapplied or outdated slang and pop culture references in a failed effort to blend in with their apparent peer group
…or who speak pretty normally most of the time, but lapse into saying stuff like “GOD’S WOUNDS, YOU CUR" when they get upset enough
vampires who got turned 30 years ago and still say “radical”
vampires who just use WAY too much 90s slang. vampires who say “booyah” when they get too excited.
vampires who mix all slang from the past 5 centuries mercilessly within the same breath and don’t even try to stop it anymore.
When I stopped at a crosswalk today this guy pulled up next to me, rolled his window down, and stuck his head out, and at first I was like ‘Oh no street harassment here it comes.’ but then the guy was like “DUDE! LOOK AT THAT HUGE RAINBOW BEHIND YOU.”
The only appropriate thing for a dude to shout at me out a car window.
This looks like the world’s most entertaining film ever.
what if they just showed an open field swaying in the midwestern wind
and tried to pass it off as a Flash movie
so im babysitting this girl right now and we’re watching tv and the satellite sort of cut out cause it was raining really hard
so i just said “thunder god if you give back our satellite i’ll give you ice cream”
a second later the thunder clapped again and our tv came back
the girl is forcing me to hold up my end of the deal so guess who’s making ice cream for the thunder god